Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast

Enchanted Arms Part 6: Dairy Queen is a Sore Subject  Square Roots - Episode 471 Quest Log: 32:20 Level Up: 01:48:40 Don't talk to Matt about Dairy Queen. Or Atsuma and his stupid arm. Heck, I don't think Matt is even enjoying The Mystery Man's hijinks at this point, almost at the end, of Enchanted Arms, the cult classic FROM SOFTWARE JRPG! Also: * The first podcast  * Everybody gets one pig  * Adult arcades  * Puzzy Corner  * The titular sleep * Equis Dickboy Charlie Merrily This Week: Defeat the Mystery Man in Graveholm Keep! Next Week: Finish Enchanted Arms! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Enchanted Arms Part 5: Gum Cutters Square Roots - Episode 470 Quest Log: 36:48 Level Up: 01:51:18 This week on Square roots, Matt really, really wants to get Johnny into the Ministry Duck, but it's just not happening. Meanwhile in FROM SOFTWARE's Enchanted Arms, we learn an important lesson about Miyazaki. Also we learn about Tokimune's sex golems, some motivation behind Oboro's actions, Sayaka's secret Dad, and so much more. Also: * You Gotta Hit That Word So Right * Jim Loves Sticking His Hand In Holes * A Cool Video For Straights * Is Hans Gruber Queer Coded? * MaTT * Those Ducks Are Catholic This Week: Defeat the Earth Devil Golem! Next Week: Defeat the Mystery Man in Sage's Tower! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Enchanted Arms Part 4: Sweats, Dunce, Pomp and Lil Guy Square Roots - Episode 469 Quest Log: 33:48 Level Up: 01:57:00 We're back on our nonsense! And that nonsense is both the FROM SOFTWARE classic Enchanted Arms *and* the English 80s girl band quintet Toto Coelo. Did Yuki commit the Perfect Crime getting that flute back from the rich old talk show host? Is the secret motivation behind Oboro kidnapping all the women in Kyoto City because they eat cannibal? It's Spy Versus Spy when it turns out that Raigar is NOT a homosexual, and in fact a Powersled who is engaged to a Ninja on the other side of the last war. These are all Toto Coelo songs. Also: * Please Photoshop Matt's Head On Wolverine * Orgone Sex Energy Is Not Real * "That's getting somebody there." * Scrimpy Is A Powerful Metaphor * It's a Real Dora the Explorer * There Is No Court In Junk Town There Is Only Street Justice  This Week: Defeat Oboro for the first time!  Next Week: Defeat the Earth Devil Golem! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

2025 Most Anticipated Games! Square Roots - Episode 468 We're taking the week off, which somehow ended up with recording an hour and a half episode where we look through the upcoming games of 2025 and decide which we're into and which we're all like "no thanks, bro!" Some games that piqued our interest: * Middle Earth Trad-Wife Simulator * The Definitely Going To Release In October Vampire The Masquerade Bloodlines 2 * Husky Middle Aged Man Child Tries To Walk * Garfield Kart 2: All You Can Drift * Now You See Me Now You Don't Next Week: Defeat Oboro for the first time!  Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Enchanted Arms Part 3: Cowboys & Plow Boys Square Roots - Episode 467 Quest Log: 33:01 Level Up: 02:01:47 She's from [STATE REDACTED]! And he's from Florida! And HE's from Vancouver! She drinks Chamblee! He drinks IPAs! And the other he drinks Diet Pepsis, and that's okay! Nerd girls & Gator Boys & Canadian Bears, some good ol' podcastairs! All three take the time to go through Enchanted Arms's stairs! Boy, they love a FROM SOFTWARE game! Yeah, we got different tastes, live in different states, but we ain't that different when it comes to classic turn based RPGs!  Also: * I'm Not Gonna Top On Top Of Any Table * He Hates A Prologue * Namcai Bando * The Summer Sickies * What About the Slut Tent * Ear Bangs * We Need Children To Be Sad And Bored This Week: Defeat the Emperor of Fire / Efreet in Enchanted Arms! Next Week: Defeat Oboro for the first time!  Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Enhanted Arms Part 2: The Guy Who Is Always Stuck At Just Friends Square Roots - Episode 466 Quest Log: 04:00 Level Up: 01:45:25 Welcome to London! Sure, it kind of looks like an old Tooter village, but it's actually one of the only cities on this big island we call earth! But we need to take the short walk back to Yokohama, which makes sense in this game. We're playing Enchanted Arms! By FROM SOFTWARE! Everyone loves FROM!  Also: * Totally A Steiner * She's Going to Join the Party, Matt * My Only Golem For Life * Moron Moron Moron Moron Moron Moron! * Arm Fall Off Kid * Lisa Rinna Hair * An Italian Seal! * Sephiroth Does Spend A Lot Of Time In A Library * Hit So Hard He Turned Straight This Week: Defeat Professor Kou in Enchanted Arms! Next Week: Defeat the Emperor of Fire / Efreet in Enchanted Arms! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Enhanted Arms Part 1: Bang-Maid Square Roots - Episode 464 Quest Log: 28:40 Level Up: 02:32:46 Dust off saxophone and charge up your magical arm, it's time for Enchanted Arms! Get it! Enchanted ARMS? Because his arm is enchanted! We discover all the little ways that Miyazaki put lil pieces of Dark and Demon's Souls into this FROM SOFTWARE turn-based JRPG!  Also: DL Free Workaholics Non-Joke Whiteboard Take The Night Off, Grandpa It Was An Act Of Generosity And Love I want to give him a little pizza golem kiss This Week: Wake Up in Prison in Enchanted Arms! Next Week: Defeat Professor Kou in Enchanted Arms! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Grim Fandango Part 2: Johnny Troublehands Square Roots - Episode 464 Quest Log: 27:11 Level Up: 01:49:50 Who do you call when life gives you trouble? JOHNNY TROUBLEHANDS! And he's joined by Matthew Dangerfist! Jim Blazin! And Vanessa Deathteeth! And we finish the LucasArts adventure classic, Grim Fandango! Is Grim a sociopath? Is Glottis better off without him? Was Meche right in holding him at gun point? YES! Also: The Clicker Genre "And Yet I'm Not." Source: Vanessa A Towel Made of Fruit Roll-Up How To Knock Out A Skeleton This Is Nothing Like The Breakfast Club! Tofu Gwace! This Week: Finish Year III and Year IV in Grim Fandango! Next Week: Wake Up in Prison in Enchanted Arms! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Grim Fandango Part 1: A Mnemonic Tube Square Roots - Episode 463 Quest Log: 29:00 Level Up: 02:05:00 Welcome to the BONE ZONE! This week on the Bone Zone we're checking out LucasArts's pinnacle of adventure gaming, Grim Fandango. In it you start as a reaper, which Matthew informs us is named Grim Fandango.  Join these Hep Cats as we get people murdered, trick penguins, and abuse the trust of your man-child elemental buddy. Also: A Little Tiny Computer! Nice Meche! Matt's Wild and Wacky Florida Tour! It Was Rutger Hauer! MANNY, YOU PROMISED! This Week: Finish Year I and Year II in Grim Fandango! Next Week: Finish Year III and Year IV in Grim Fandango! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Grandia II Part 6: The Birthplace of the Gods Was A Research Facility Square Roots - Episode 462 Quest Log: 28:40 Level Up: 01:48:15 GOTCHA! The Birthplace of the Gods was a research facility, which definitely means that Granas and Valmar were scientists who got turned into gods, and weren't aliens. With the Birthplace of the Gods being a research facility my logic is flawless and Matthew, who still needs to mail me ten dollars, is left speechless as we finish GameArts's classic JRPG! Also: We All Have An Oblivion We'd Rather Be Playing Chris Plante Sent To A Nice Click Farm Upstate A Lot Of Tiddy Talk It. Popped. Out. Tomax and Xamot Fan Fiction Vanessa's Private Network In The Krang Bin This Week: Finish Grandia II! Next Week: Finish Year I and Year II in Grim Fandango! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com