True Spirituality with Ange

A quick reminder that you have until next Wednesday to purchase my Trust Your Intuition Online course for half price. Click here to invest. Our guest this month shares her journey of having grown up in a household with a mother who "found Jesus". It's taken a few years for Nismah to deconstruct her mother's faith and live her best life. She has a podcast where she interviews people who have gone through the same process called the Escape from Religion. What is religious deconstruction? It's the process of pulling apart and re-examining one's religious beliefs. It originated in the US around evangelism. Wikipedia tells us that people who deconstruct have described destabilizing feelings of anxiety, guilt, anger, confusion, and fear, as well as curiosity, awe, and liberation. As an open-ended process, the outcome of deconstruction is uncertain. I think it's a good idea for us to re-examine our beliefs, whether religious or other, so I was really excited to have Nismah on the podcast. Nismah experienced religion as toxic due to the numerous rules and conditions that she had to follow, that she believes lead to self abandonment. She explains that she finds it hard sometimes to distinguish between religion and cult because where do you draw the line? We also discussed how sadly religions tend to have an all or nothing approach to their teachings, which is difficult for some people, especially when some of it does not resonate. Nismah describes her deconstruction as a gradual process that culminated one day as she read a passage in the Bible that claimed that women had to be silent, and she had a profound reaction to it, recognising that it did not align with her values. It turns out the rampant homophobic environment she grew up in was the last nail on the coffin, as Nismah discovered she was gay.

A quick reminder that my Trust Your Intuition Online Course is available at a 50% discount for the whole month of April (2025)on my Thinkific platform. Click here to purchase. But before we start on the how to stay high vibe no matter what, I wanted first to define what is high vibe. Sometimes when we want to define something, we have to say what it’s not. So there’s two things that for me, high vibing is not. The first thing that it’s not is smiling when you feel like crying, shouting, kicking or screaming. That is not being high vibe. Smiling is easy. I can just smile now, but inside I can have incredible feelings bubbling in me that make me feel totally disconnected from this smile. So for me, high vibe comes from a much, much deeper place than just smiling and pretending things are okay. High vibe for me is an energy. Now I’m going to explore a little bit this idea because I think as children, we all knew when people were pretending they were happy and when they were not because all children can read energy. I remember numerous instances when my mom would say, don’t be silly, or this or that or the other because what I was looking at didn’t fit with how it made me feel. And I think all children are like that. So maybe actually the start of this episode would be for you to ask your children and have this conversation with them to help them understand that there’s nothing wrong with them. The second thing that being high vibe is not is complaining, bitching, gossiping and feeling like the world is against you. This is really low vibe. To me, the definition of being high vibe is a feeling of unconditional happiness that comes from knowing that the universe has your back. And I need to say this is work in progress because from where we come from, if you are from the same kind of background as me, where we were taught to feel that the world was full of dangers, that we had to be careful with strangers, that we shouldn’t trust other people and all sorts of things, this is kind of an alien concept. It will take some work on yourself, on your beliefs, on your mindset to get to the point where you have this unconditional happiness. And also talking about unconditional happiness, we are also taught to believe that something or someone is going to make us happy. And that comes from the fact that our parents want to make us happy. So if we’re not happy, they take it personally as a sign that they haven’t done their job. I remember as a child feeling sad, feeling angry feelings that were not welcome in our house. We had to be happy and if we weren’t, we were constantly reminded how other people were less happy than we were less fortunate, and we should just count our blessings, which is counterproductive when you’re dealing with emotions. Note: I mention in the episode that my memoir My Father Who Art in Heaven is only available privately. This is not longer the case. It is now available on Amazon. Click here to purchase it. Here’s a couple of tips that I’ve identified that can help you to be high vibe regardless of the circumstances. Stop labelling things as good or bad. Ask yourself how can I make the most of the this situation? Don’t complain about what is happening to you Ask yourself: how can I turn this challenge into an opportunity? Face your fears and ask ask yourself if they are real. A great way to do this is to use Byron Katie’s process. Listen to upbeat music, be mindful of the lyrics though Do something creative Watch something funny and have a good laugh Be aware that because this is an episode from a previous podcasts, my facebook page has changed and some of the references to websites are no longer active.

In today's episode I touch on the subject of keeping yourself safe whilst exploring spiritual practices but also the line that exists between the two, which is sometimes hard to define. A spiritual experience badly managed can result in a mental illness or breakdown. A reminder that my Trust Your Intuition Online Course is available at a 50% discount for the whole month of April (2025), as I believe that intuition is the tool that will keep you safe. I believe that in the context of this particular episode, it would help you find a safe spiritual teacher to mentor you through these experiences. Click here to find out more. If you are reading this blog or listening to the episode after April 2025 and want to make sure you never miss a discount or promotion, sign up for my newsletter with this link. Intense spiritual practices can lead to psychosis or other mental health challenges. They are to be taken seriously and not to be practiced on your own or at the hands of inexperienced people. They can literally lead to paranoia, obsessive rituals, unshakable beliefs in false information, grandiose beliefs, extreme guilt or fear of being punished, incoherent or jumbled thoughts and withdrawal. Spiritual practices and beliefs can also be used to bypass negative emotions and trauma, and lead to people believing that they have no ego or are all "love and light". This is actually rather dangerous as these individuals usually end up projecting their unresolved feelings onto you. I have had people psychically attack me when in that state of mind. It's nasty. The first four statements that can help you screen yourself for mental illness (though it is often hard to be objective when we are in the thick of it) are: I feel that others control what I think or feel I see or hear things that others do not hear or see I feel it is difficult for me to express myself in words that others can understand I find it difficult to make the difference between what's real and what's not To understand how the mind works, I encourage you to listen to EP 63 on how the mind works. My personal experience of both clairvoyance and psychosis had led me to understand that they feel very different even if you might see exactly the same thing. And that difference lies in the mental state you are in when they happen. If you are grounded and calm, they feel serene. If you are agitated, they can upset you. Not to mention you can believe that something that is not here, actually is. I didn't. I knew exactly what was happening. I share about these experiences in my memoir, Spiritual Lawyer, which is available on Amazon. Click here to purchase. I remember when hearing about kundalini awakening for the first time, wanting to experience that. A kundalini experience is a process of activating a dormant energy that is believed to be at the base of our spine, which can lead to a spiritual awakening. Dr Greyson, whom I mentioned in EP 66 about Near Death Experiences, has written a paper about it where he mentions that the Western model of science is not able to explain them. He does, however, compare them to near death experiences. In relevant spiritual traditions, people were kept safe and supervised by an experienced member of that community, a shaman, who usually had experienced something similar. This leads me to caution everyone about doing breath work and even meditation without the presence of a highly qualified person with a mental health background. This being said, I also believe that some of these experiences can be caused by tears in our energy fields, possibly due to substance abuse or trauma and that repairing the energy field can go a long way to support mental health recovery. I would never, however, advise not to seek professional help. This is of course a first exploration of the theme and we might circle back to this topic in further episodes if need be.

Today's episode was inspired by a conversation i had with one of my clients over the weekend. A conversation came up with some relatives where the fact that she had "manifested" her house was disclosed and it made her feel very uneasy. She wanted my opinion as a mentor.  My advice is to keep things close to your chest when you start your spiritual journey. Not everyone will be supportive. Not everyone will understand. Not everyone will know. The world is full of people with strong opinions and not enough people who listen and honour other people's experiences. I am not blaming anyone. We live in a society that has not taught us how to do this.  I was asked on the Caroline Martin Breakfast Show on BBC Radio on Saturday (at the 2h48min mark)  https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p0kxh99b what I would say to my detractors, and my answer was that I am not here to convince anyone. I really am not. In a way you could say that I am here to preach to the choir.  Your new found spirituality is like a seedling that needs nurturing in the right environment. If exposed to the elements, it might not be strong enough. Our spiritual journeys require us to  be discerning and to ascertain who is "safe" and who is not. What I mean by safe is someone who will respect our experience. And if we are lucky, throw a light on it that will help us understand what the heck is going on. That requires experience. I want to be that person for you.  I have been on this journey for forty odd years and I feel that although my spiritual "tree" is not a 100 solid oak, it's pretty strong and has healthy roots that keep me grounded whilst my branches reach further to the sky. The more upward you go, the deeper your roots must be, so my advice is also to learn to ground yourself.  It's also important to keep ourselves safe and avoid cults. I want to refer you back to EP 02 on how to cult proof your journey. As we depart from traditional religions, we are at risk of behind roped in by people who don't have our best interests at heart. Click here to listen to the episode about cult proofing your journey. https://pod.fo/e/1f2f7a Your best protection is to have a strong intuition and for the launch of my memoir Spiritual Lawyer on Kindle, I would like offer my trust your intuition course for half price until the end of April (2025). Click here to find out more. http://spirituallawyer.thinkific.com

Laura Richard is the author of Married to a Nice Guy and a speaker who specialises in narcissistic abuse. In this episode she shares how her religious education contributed to staying in a toxic marriage. Laura is the host of the That's Where I'm at Podcast and in the recent episodes, her guests have talked a lot about religious abuse and she believes the two are connected. Her podcast initially talked about the things that are not talked about, and it gradually became more centered around narcissistic abuse. The more she interviews guests on the topic, the more Laura feels she deepens her understanding of the topic. The most important first step when you leave a marriage to a narcissist is to have your experience validated. Often times, people who have not been through it do not understand. They might ask, for example, why did you not leave him? Why did you put up with all of it. One of the reasons is that it is a very gradual process at the start. You don't see it coming until it's too late. Either they know something about that you are ashamed of and threaten to tell everyone, or they create so much fear in the relationship that you are paralysed. Laura was raised as a Catholic, left the church at 15 then joined some Christian churches when she married but she is now deconstructing religion. In her view, the worse thing about it is the manipulation which then leads to further manipulation by men in relationship because it's based on patriarchy and oppressive. And you are afraid that if you leave, God will be angry at you. Laura sees a similar pattern in abusive marriages. There is a lot of mental dishonesty, but you can't see it because you have been raised in it. That's something that struck Laura when she was a child, how people would say one thing in Church and do almost the exact opposite after they left mass. Laura remembers that even though her mother was a devout Catholic, when the time came for her funeral, the Catholic Church refused to do a service because she had been cremated and wanted her ashes scattered. Not only that, they told her and her sister that their mother was going to the purgatory for not wanting to be buried like other people. It was very painful. Laura was married for thirty-two years and she wonders if her faith did not keep her longer than she needed to be in her marriage. The bible group she attended encouraged her to pray for her marriage and for her to be a better wife. It seemed that saving the marriage was more important than Laura's wellbeing, and even safety. She was encouraged to be a better person as if that would solve the marriage's problems, when in reality it was her husband that was the problem. She remembers how she was told that God hates divorce, so the pressure was on her to make it work, to stick it out. The reality is that it keeps women in toxic marriages longer than needed. And often times, women are being gaslit at the pulpit.

In this episode we do something a bit different and explore the American TV series called the Good Place to extract from it seven spiritual lessons. At the start of the episode, I describe the premise of the show, without revealing the plot twist that comes at the end of the first season. If you have not watched it, I highly encourage you to do so.  I refer back to EP 28 which answers the question of whether it is spiritual to help other people. Here are what I consider the seven spiritual lessons of the Good Place are:  1. Life is complex and it is actually fairly hard to decide if a decision is good or bad 2. Lying is not always morally wrong 3. If you do good with an ulterior motive, it defeats the point 4. You don't need to go to a monastery in Tibet in order to become enlightened 5. We all have free will 6. Every day it gets harder to be a good person 7. We all need a purpose in life.

Death and dying was a taboo when I grew up, which in a way encouraged me to want to talk about it even more. I purchased many books on the topic, especially Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’ books which I found very enlightening. She offered a model for the journey that people who are faced with death go on that comprises five phases. * denial * anger * bargaining * depression * acceptance This was never meant to be a rigid model but more of an observation of what the majority of people went through. It is incredibly useful to normalise but also to support people going through this journey. I think since her seminal work, others have taken her model and expanded on it, especially for those who stay behind, i.e. the loved ones of people who die. They are likely to go through a very similar cycle though in my limited experience, people tend to stay stuck in the denial phase almost until the end. What is really important to understand and I have discussed this in previous episodes, is that the person who is dying must be at the centre of a circle where no one is allowed to offload onto them. Offloading is only allowed outwards. So if you imagine a circle where the dying person is in the centre, then you have their loved ones, then maybe their friends and relatives, then their colleagues, if they have any or their acquaintances and last professionals involved. It is unethical for anyone to offload how they feel inward in the circle. This is what has been called the Ring Theory. The idea was born out of the frustration of a woman who lived in cancer and who had one of her colleagues tell her how upset she was about it. I hope you can see this was adding a burden onto the woman living with cancer that she could have well done without. The other idea I explore on the podcast is that our departed loved ones care probably a lot less about their funeral arrangements and you attending the funeral than you think they do. If, for any reason, you are unable to go to someone’s funeral or you don’t want to go, let go of the guilt and know you can create your own ritual. The last thing I wanted to talk about is whether we need to let our loved ones in heaven “rest in peace”. I also encourage you to listen to EP 23 about signs, as your loved ones often communicate with you through these and I would love for you to know how to interpret those signs.

This episode was inspired by Kyle Gray’s new book, The Angels Are With You now. After I listened to the audiobook of it, I had an impulse to go to a Leisure Centre to return some equipment last Sunday. Unknown to me, there was a Mind Body Spirit Fayre held at that Leisure centre at the precise time I turned up. I saw a gorgeous piece of selenite with angel wings carved on it, which was a definite sign that angels were with me, especially since I had spotted two car plates on the way with 444 and 777 on them respectively. As I walked around the Fayre, I came across a tarot deck stand and there, on the table, was one of Kyke Gray’s decks. I decided to buy it becasue I had a chance to look at it. I had purchased one of Kyle’s decks six months ago and had to return it as I did not like it at all. I welcomed the opportunity to be able to see the cards for myself before I gifted myself that deck. Looking back I think it was also the angels’ way of buying myself a gift as a reward to having finished the mamouth task of editing my second memoir, Spiritual Lawyer. There are five ways that we separate ourselves from the help that angels can give us. Believing that our problems are not as important to the angels as the problems of other people Believing that if we ask for help from angels we are somehow depriving people who need the help more than we do Focusing too much on seeing angels and believing there is something wrong with us if we can’t Obsessing over finding out what the name of our guardian angel is Believing that we are not good enough to speak to angels directly Listen to the episode to hear about this in more details. 

Carl Honore is an award-winning writer, broadcaster and TED speaker, Ageism Disruptor and voice of the global Slow Movement. His latest book is called Bolder. And I am really pleased to have had him on the podcast. If you have been on your spiritual path for any length of time, you would have heard invitations to slow down, so I thought it would be good to have Carl on the podcast as the expert on the topic. Carl's journey started as a stressed father who was always rushing. Every day was a race against the clock and I think a lot of us can relate to this. One day as he was trying to rush through the bedtime story he was reading to his son, he took stock and realised that it had gone too far. This set him on a course to understand our relationship with time. As the journalist that he is, this took him around the world, as he explored the different ways cultures approach time. The Western world has a capitalistic relationship with time. Everything revolves around the clock. We believe that time is money. So slowing down is costing us. Carl talks about reconeccting to his inner tortoise, which I find very endearing but which also reminds me of Grand Master Oogway in Kun Fu Panda. During our discussion, I think Carl and I were able to recognise that the moment he took stock of what he was doing, in terms of rushing fatherhood, was an awakening moment of some sort. He had another one that led to another book called Bolder, that I am reading at the moment and finding enlightening. Even though Carl identifies as agnostic, he is open to the idea that life has a spiritual dimension and he is definitely on a quest to find answers. Carl can be found on his website and on LinkedIn. You can subscribe to his substack account with this link. To watch his TEDtalk on the power of slow, click here. To watch his TEDTalk on ageing, click here.

When I started on my spiritual paths, I admired people who had spiritual gifts such a clairvoyance, healing powers or who could do remote viewing. I assumed that people who had those gifts were more spiritually advanced than I was, but I have since realised that this is not true. The pursuit of spiritual gifts such as described in the Autobiography of a Yogi can actually be a distraction on our spiritual path. if they blossom, good, but if they don't, that doesn't mean anything about us. In today's episode, we are going to talk about the ethical side of spiritual gifts and why that is incredibly important. I have been reading the Ethical Psychic by Jennifer Lisa Vest, who has both an academic view point from her background as a professor of philosophy and the practical view point of a practitioner of various modalities such as shamanism, reiki, medical intuition, reading the akashic records and more. I do recommend reading her book whether you have psychic gifts or are seeking the guidance of someone who has. Just because someone can do something doesn't mean that they should. And that is the starting point of this discussion. Discernment, boundaries and ethics are paramount because I believe that psychic gifts can actually be harmful be they not used appropriately. This is the reason I was actually quite reluctant to use mine. I was afraid of doing harm and leaving people worse off, especially with my tarot readings. People who seek the guidance or help of people with psychic gifts are often vulnerable. Some also need mental health support that they might not be willing to seek out for whatever reason, so it is our responsibility to recognise that and encourage our clients to go to counselling or seek professional help when they need it. I have a couple of rules that I stick to. I do not read for kids. I do not read people without their permission. I only work with clients who are perfectly aligned to what I offer. I set my intention that the information and guidance that I share is always, to the best of my ability, useful, uplifting and inspiring. And I never use my gifts for entertainment. Of course a huge part of being ethical as a psychic is to refrain from cultural appropriation which is something I explored in last week's episode.